


Love me, not him

by Sternpfote



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Parallel Universes, london edward elric, royed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 09:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19999621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sternpfote/pseuds/Sternpfote
Summary: "You know... I couldn't save everyone. I failed again. I lost another person close to me. Is he with you in Heaven, Hughes? I wish he is. He deserves to be there. But... even more I wish, that he is alive. Somewhere, somehow. He shouldn't be dead."~Not who you want, but who you need~Edward Elric is gone, missing and claimed dead.Roy Mustang is sad, his heart broken and his love shattered.All that changes when Roy finds Edward near his grave.But... is it really his Edward?





	Love me, not him

Chapter 1: Missing you

Roy sighed, as he went to the graveyard early this morning. He wanted to visit Maes. It was a lovely morning, with the sun shining brightly on him, a soft breeze going through his raven black hair. The Brigadier General smiled softly, as he was looking down on the grave of his best friend. 

"Hey Hughes" Roy said, putting down a bouquet of white roses. "It's been a long time, huh?" The Flame Alchemist sat down, looking at the grey stone with Maes' Name written on it. 

The black-haired male hadn't been visiting his friend for a long time now, since he had been away some months. "But now I'm back to Central, you know?", Roy chuckled. "I was so dumb, you would've punched me. After all that happened with the homunculi, I left Central and headed north. You should've seen me, in the freezing cold snow, and not using my flame alchemy to get some warmth. I was so pathetic. Thinking it would be a good idea. I... I actually... wanted to never use my flames again. But you know what? Now I'm back. And I'm staying here. And I'm still the Flame Alchemist. Which means, I'm using my alchemy." The general smiled even more. "Because even though I caused the death of countless people with this fire, I still have people who need me. I can't just give up yet. I have to correct my mistakes. Like Ishval. I want to bring the Ishvalans the peace they deserve. And I also want to protect the people of Amestris. So, I can't just hang around in the snow, hoping for a painful, cold death or shit like that. Depression's over, Life goes on. Right?"

Roy leaned back, his gloved hands in the green grass, the red transmutation circles on them shining in the light. "I want to protect them. You know, the team and all. Fuery, Falman, Breda and Havoc. Hawkeye too. Also, your wife and daughter, so you won't kill me in the afterlife... That means, if I make it to heaven, like you did." He chuckled again, a smile on his lips. "But you know... I couldn't save everyone. I failed again. I lost another person close to me. Is he with you in Heaven, Hughes? I wish he is. He deserves to be there. But... even more I wish, that he is alive. Somewhere, somehow. He shouldn't be dead."

The smile on Roy's Face turned even sadder. "I really hope he lives. Alphonse is thinking that too. You know, so much has happened since my last visit... But the most important thing is... Fullmetal died. Alphonse tried to bring him back, and he did, but since equivalent exchange sucks, Alphonse was taken as prize for Fullmetal living again. And Fullmetal was such a dumbass, he still is, Goddamit." The chuckle of the Alchemist wasn't happy at all. "He sacrificed himself so Alphonse would come back. These damn brothers. Now Alphonse is here, he isn't a suit of armour anymore but a real human, a small boy... But Fullmetal is gone. I don't even know, if he's dead, and... and that kills me."  
He sighed, before continuing. "The last time I saw him was before Hawkeye and I went to attack the fuhrer. We nearly drove Fullmetal over, as he was running over the street. I let him in the car, and we talked a bit. And then, we said our goodbyes and good lucks. A last handshake, and then we went our ways." The male with the onyx eye now looked sad and pained. 

"Tell me, why am I always the lucky one? In Ishval, I got shot, but still survived because my pocket watch got in the way. When fighting with the fuhrer, the Homunculus Pride, I survived and even managed to kill him." Roy looked down on the ground, then putting his hand over the left side of the face, where his black eyepatch was. "Damn, I even got shot in the head, and all that happened was I lost my eye. But then there's him. Fullmetal. And he had to go through all the bad things. Father going, Mother dying, nearly losing his brother and losing his arm and leg. Joining the military and fighting not human creatures, which ends him dead? That's way too much for just a 15-year-old boy! Why's life so unfair to him?"

Roy looked up, back to Hughes grave. "I sound crazy, right? Me, the 'Colonel Bastard', whining about Fullmetal's sad life. I guess, I still am pathetic." He laughed, but it was a sad laugh. "You know... I've never hated him, even though I said I do. Frankly, I really like him. Maybe more than I should. But now... Now it doesn't matter anymore. Because he is gone. And I'm not sure, if he ever comes back."  
Roy got up on his feet, brushing the dirt and grass of his trousers. "Enough of me crying and speaking about him. Let's end this with something happy, yeah?" The dark-haired male said, again smiling, but still not feeling happy. 

"Yesterday, I fell asleep during work. The usual. Because, you know, paperwork's reeeeeeeeally boring and annoying, so I did the only logical thing: Avoiding it and sleeping a bit. But when I woke up, everybody stared at me and began to burst into laughter. They all laughed at me, I was so confused!" Roy giggled a bit at the memory, before going silent again. "Someone drew on my face while I slept. I had a moustache, and a monocle, and a small dick on my face. I still don't know who it was, I guess they did it all together, the team and Alphonse, but... " His smile faded completely. "It felt, like something Fullmetal would do..."

The general now turned away from his best friend's grave. "Oh man, I'm becoming like you. Always talking about one and the same person over and over again, even though no one wants to hear it... Sorry... Anyways, Maes... See ya." Roy smiled a last time, but now even looking to the grey stone, marking where the dead body of brigadier general Hughes lied. 

He went further away from Hughes grave, more onto the graveyard. Because he wanted to visit another grave, an empty one, 'his' one. But, coming closer to Fullmetal's grave, that the military made for him as honour and tribute, Roy saw a figure laying next to the grave. His eye widened as he saw a blond-haired boy next to Fullmetals Grave. Roy rushed to him, kneeing down beside the blond.

"Fullmetal?!" he shouted and laid a hand on his shoulder. Edward was unconscious. Roy lifted him up, laying his head on his own lap. "Fullmetal! Oi, please say something!" But the boy didn't respond. "Fullmetal! Goddamit, please answer! Say something! Hey, Fullmetal!"

Roy panicked more and more while the boy still stayed silent. So, he decided to take him to the nearest hospital, even though he couldn't see visible wounds. The raven-haired alchemist picked the smaller blond up and carried him bridal style. 

With fast steps Roy Mustang left the graveyard. The sun got up, and the first reddish light turned to bright yellow and gold. A soft wind blew and moved Roy's and Edward's hair. Roy softly smiled. Even though Edward wasn't awake, he had the small blond tight in his arms.

Roy had his Edward.  
... Or so, he thought.


End file.
